I was around 5 years old, I came to know about Him. I was on pilgrimage to Ramkrishna Mission, the curious child in me was constantly questioning about the whereabouts. As I came inside the massive temple which I later found out to be the meditation hall of the students of Ramakrishna Mission school, Purulia, I was taken aback by the silence and serenity of the place. There was no sign of hustle and bustle of the world, every person sitting there was contributing to this ambiance. Soon the garba griha opened with creaking of doors breaking the silence of the Hall and every person with folded hands chanted Jai Guru as if thirsty and hungry souls have quenched their thirst and Hunger, Soon the evening Aarti started and the hall was all filled with students and saints of Ramakrishna Mission. They all sang the holy bhajan with their hearts out and the aura of the entire place had a spell bounding effect on me. I was awestruck by something that I was experiencing for the very first time and as a child I was absorbing every bit of it.
The bhajan was over and every one was sitting in dead silence for what I later learnt it to be meditation. I closed my eyes but my ears were filled with echo of the Bhajan I was just listening. though I was not able to decipher every bits of that Bhajan but still the music seems to resonate with something that was beating deep inside me.
Soon my Mom pushed me and said come , we have to get darshan. I kept on my questioning spree. My mom hold my hands and pointed in the middle and said look at the center He is our beloved Thakur Ramakrishna Paramhansa, To his left is Sarada Maa our Holy mother, and towards his right is Swamiji or swami Vivekananda. I folded my hands out of respect. The idols were beautifully decorated with flowers. There was no gold or silver around or any glittering lights just flowers that were neatly put in order of symmetry. Who says one cannot be beautiful and attractive by being simple, from that early experience of childhood I always knew there is always great value and attractive power in simplicity, that we often tend to forget. My mother taught me to pray, ask for only sadbudhhi or positive thinking process rest everything will follow. She continued, "see when they are around us there is no reason to loose hope ever, He will be seeing you and guiding you through if your intentions are right and your vision are good."
As a child my mind was pure and I believed every bit of it. I really enjoyed my first visit and my interface with those great souls continued. I was greatly curious to know about them. Though all of them were great and respectable people and Ramkrishna Paramhansa is beleived to be incarnation of vishnu and Holy mother Sarada is incarnation of Goddess Laxmi, but my heart fell for swami Vivekananda. I first read the picture biographies then small books as I grew up. when I used to think about him, about his life, I used to get a chill in my spine. The tales of His courage and His messages made me his fan and He was my first child hood hero. The more I thought about Him, more I used to get amazed more by the fact that He lived among us and in a slave Nation, which was still fighting for freedom. Where from Earth such courage arises? what is the source of such courage and such burning desire to do great things? How one can be so self less, sensitive? How can a person have vigour of lion but yet have tenderness of lotus in his heart? How can saint with almost nothing to offer material can inspire generations of Youth? The questions kept on lingering me and for some I am still in search of answers...
But soon my life was filled with storm and our happy family was entangled in a family issue. I was robbed off my good thinking process and was into bad company. I was giving up on life. My life was fast depreciating in terms of value. There was no signs for hope, whatever I tried met with heavy failure. The family duel achieved new levels and I had no whereabouts in a very tender age. I began in to live life in disregard mode. I was becoming very much violent, notorious and with bad company I was corrupting my software in every possible way. But when You give up with life, life doesn't give up with you. It continuously send its messengers to awaken you. I got them in form of teachers. Life rekindled again though with blinking light of hope....
It was after my 12th standard exam, one fine morning I got up all energized. It was very early morning, my mind began delving upon life and soon I was left with a feeling of disgust. So I decided it can't go on like this. This is not me who I am turning out to be. I decided to take a break to recoup and rediscover my selffor which I have to go to Kota in search of my future. City of Kota offers chances of success was minimal and I was born and brought up in a underdeveloped landscape of our country, which again was a bad combination for success. My district Purulia stands prominently in the lists of underdeveloped districts as per planning commission. So I decided to go all the way 1700 kms to search for a change in fortune or better say rebuild my destiny...
My Parents first thought I was joking, but I was relentless, with only one school buddy along with me, I decided to take this leap of faith. I had all constraints financial, social, mental and most importantly attitudinal. But something in me drove me with great spirits. I didn't knew what. So after much pestering, I finally reached Kota, to be with Allen Career Institute. We were searching for room to stay. So after much search we got one. I somehow liked the room very much, we finalized our deal and began to settle. I was still wondering about my act, I was still thinking about what was driving me with so much madness. As I took my stairs down, my eyes got fixed on a picture frame that I failed to notice while I was climbing up the stair. A full portrait of Swami vivekananda was hanging on the wall of stair case, with the words boldly printed "Arise, Awake and stop not till the goal is reached." All my doubts vanished and now I knew who was driving me. Though I have not been in touch with him, he was looking over me. Though I had given up on life, He hadn't. My eyes were filled and a new found confidence took over me. A confidence and burning desire to be good....
However life's messages are not always that clear that you think. I worked hard with all my spirits and with last drops of energy available but results didn't go that way. I failed to crack any competitive exam, I was all devastated again. I was going to give my last exam, ICAR exam. with my heavy heart I gave the exam and with utmost surprise I got through that with flying colour. securing All India Rank of 108. Now I had no idea about this field of Agriculture. I filled it's form thinking it just like another exam. But now that was all that I had. I didn't want to go back to the life I was leading....
I was puzzled and bewildered and I was again facing the life crisis event for which I had to take again a big leap of faith all together. I didn't knew I was doing right or wrong. I just followed my life and again by summoning all courage in me, I decided to go to a place called Pantnagar. Which was never heard by anyone I was living there and that too for studying in a stream of education which was among the first of it's kind pursued. But again something in me always guided me to have that confidence to believe in things what lies ahead....
I came to Pantnagar, hoping to give a new start to my life. But was disheartened to see the crowd of junta who are frustrated about life. I knew I can't give up. when things were not looking great and there was disappointed all around. I was invited to a program named "ek shaam saheedo ke naam". The program was so beautifully organized and it evoked a deep sense of patriotism. I felt as if that single program rekindled a flow of energy and spirit within me. I was lost in the awesomeness of that program like I used to get lost in thoughts when I used to visit Ramkrishna Mission. I was wondering who can organize such a wonderful program, when my eyes finally felt on the banner which was written VSM (Vivekanand Swadhyay Mandal ) aapka swagat karte hai.... (VSM welcomes you all..). I couldnot help my emotions flowed and life became all straight line all of a sudden. It was like some distant dots of destiny are getting connected one after another. All of a sudden I was so clear about my decision and my heart conjugated with VSM process since then...
4 years passed in the college learning from different experiences and most importantly by participating in the process of VSM. Life was so full of purpose and changing the world was only dream that was infused in us in every bits and manner. My stint with VSM was a truest form of education I received till date and I have grown myself as a human. However like all good things my 4 years stint ended. Though I still continue to be its part. After my graduation I choose a different path of Management study i.e Rural Management and I got employed with Monsanto, which is a big MNC in Agri-business. I was assigned role of Sales and Marketing. It was kind of a prestigious job, but my intuition always poked me that something is not right about it. The desire to work for a bigger cause and purpose still burns. The kind of work I was doing wasn't adding value to society or life's bigger goal, that I always dreamt off. I was thinking of a job profile which will give exposure to do quality work, man making work, value adding work. But my Job with a MNC was just not giving me the right platform to utilize the passion that I have developed with so much care. The Dream which I have nurtured in face of all odds. The dream which my heart always provoked me to think about living my life with depth.....
The opportunity came but not in such a grand manner, once again I took the decision to listen to my heart. So today as i scribble through this blog, I take this opportunity to pray to swamiji to give us all sadbuddhi and courage to listen to our heart and as he said which I believe from my heart "It may be that I shall find it good to get outside my body, to cast it off like a wornout garment. But I shall not cease to work. I shall inspire men everywhere until the whole world shall know that it is one with GOD". No matter how your life is giving you trouble, no matter how much gloomy the situation may seem to you.. No matter how much you think that there is no hope but if your visions are good and you strive to do great work, HE is there to inspire you always.. HE will ensure that you don't loose hope.. I am on my way to my life's corridor to live my life on my own terms as my heart like to believe.. It doesn't matter you are successful or not but at the end of the day, when life will seek your balance sheet.. you will be happy to give account of a profitable life...
Though its almost a month since our nation celebrated his Bday as National youth Day, but I wanted to dedicate my first blog to Him. I would end with a praying note, to give us all courage and keep us inspired, so that we can play our part to make our country i.e India a epitome of humanity, civilization and culture which He always dreamt............
I came to Pantnagar, hoping to give a new start to my life. But was disheartened to see the crowd of junta who are frustrated about life. I knew I can't give up. when things were not looking great and there was disappointed all around. I was invited to a program named "ek shaam saheedo ke naam". The program was so beautifully organized and it evoked a deep sense of patriotism. I felt as if that single program rekindled a flow of energy and spirit within me. I was lost in the awesomeness of that program like I used to get lost in thoughts when I used to visit Ramkrishna Mission. I was wondering who can organize such a wonderful program, when my eyes finally felt on the banner which was written VSM (Vivekanand Swadhyay Mandal ) aapka swagat karte hai.... (VSM welcomes you all..). I couldnot help my emotions flowed and life became all straight line all of a sudden. It was like some distant dots of destiny are getting connected one after another. All of a sudden I was so clear about my decision and my heart conjugated with VSM process since then...
4 years passed in the college learning from different experiences and most importantly by participating in the process of VSM. Life was so full of purpose and changing the world was only dream that was infused in us in every bits and manner. My stint with VSM was a truest form of education I received till date and I have grown myself as a human. However like all good things my 4 years stint ended. Though I still continue to be its part. After my graduation I choose a different path of Management study i.e Rural Management and I got employed with Monsanto, which is a big MNC in Agri-business. I was assigned role of Sales and Marketing. It was kind of a prestigious job, but my intuition always poked me that something is not right about it. The desire to work for a bigger cause and purpose still burns. The kind of work I was doing wasn't adding value to society or life's bigger goal, that I always dreamt off. I was thinking of a job profile which will give exposure to do quality work, man making work, value adding work. But my Job with a MNC was just not giving me the right platform to utilize the passion that I have developed with so much care. The Dream which I have nurtured in face of all odds. The dream which my heart always provoked me to think about living my life with depth.....
The opportunity came but not in such a grand manner, once again I took the decision to listen to my heart. So today as i scribble through this blog, I take this opportunity to pray to swamiji to give us all sadbuddhi and courage to listen to our heart and as he said which I believe from my heart "It may be that I shall find it good to get outside my body, to cast it off like a wornout garment. But I shall not cease to work. I shall inspire men everywhere until the whole world shall know that it is one with GOD". No matter how your life is giving you trouble, no matter how much gloomy the situation may seem to you.. No matter how much you think that there is no hope but if your visions are good and you strive to do great work, HE is there to inspire you always.. HE will ensure that you don't loose hope.. I am on my way to my life's corridor to live my life on my own terms as my heart like to believe.. It doesn't matter you are successful or not but at the end of the day, when life will seek your balance sheet.. you will be happy to give account of a profitable life...
Though its almost a month since our nation celebrated his Bday as National youth Day, but I wanted to dedicate my first blog to Him. I would end with a praying note, to give us all courage and keep us inspired, so that we can play our part to make our country i.e India a epitome of humanity, civilization and culture which He always dreamt............
